So, this is the first time I actually realized I have people READING my blog. Up until now I really had no idea. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for the comments, you really helped strengthen me enough to overcome my bulimia.
So my fast failed (Obviously)... I feel incredibly frustrated with myself, and it's not even during the day that I want to eat, I can eat 50-100 calories in one sitting throughout the whole damn day without even WANTING to binge. But.... it's like when evening comes I just get so hungry. I just want to eat and eat and eat. I can't think of anything else and even when I choose to sit and smoke instead and convince myself that the urge will go away..... sometimes it doesn't. I have been binging and purging less though, and I have been eating less and only healthy food when I do binge, so I think if I keep going on this track I will conquer the fat girl.
Oh!!! I started going to this gym near my house! It's so great. I have always wanted a treadmill, and this place has EVERYTHING. I'm in heaven when I go there. I went there last night after having a 220 calorie dinner, and I ran on the treadmill for 30 minutes... I burned 200 calories! I felt so good... so strong. In control of my body, and I must say, it's exhilarating, more exhilarating than binging and purging. I LIKE the nauseous stomach and the faint light-headed...ness... that comes from not eating. I enjoy feeling like I have control. I like knowing that I am going to burn off the calories I just consumed and feeling GOOD about it. I just hope this feeling is enough to stop my bulimia.
I have also started taking these pills... they're called ultra shape, they're like a laxative almost, meant to cleanse your body. I take 3 before dinner and 3 before bed.... so far I have been getting bloated, but that might just be the food I've been eating. I am going to take them for a few more days and if I still see no change I'm going to throw them out.
This brings me to the point of this blog, I was wondering who has tried body cleanses, and if so which ones worked best for you? I also want to start taking diet pills that curb hunger and raise my metabolism... does anyone know of any that work? I don't trust what the internet tells me these days, so I figure I will ask someone who has taken them. So if anyone is taking any of these pills and it's working good for them, please let me know which ones they are, it would be greatly appreciated.
Also a special thanks to Africana, your comments really help me more than you know! It's so good to hear someone else with the same struggles as me, and I know we can both overcome bulimia.
Stay strong everyone!