Frustrations

I decided since I was going to drink this afternoon that I should eat a little something. So I made my light, low-cal chicken soup. I was eating it fine all slowly and whatnot, until I just lost control of myself and I started eating everything in sight. Strawberries, I chugged soy milk, and I ate oatmeal crisp cereal right out of the box. I immediately ran to the washroom and puked most of it up, but I just feel so stupid. And now I can't decide what to drink, I'm trying to find the drink with the lowest amount of calories, it's incredibly frustrating and I'm thinking I should just drink whatever is strongest and cheapest and I'll continue my fast for the rest of these 2 days and that will be it. I don't care anymore I already know I've gained water weight from that binge and I know the alcohol won't add anything more to me because I'll just piss it out. I'm very pissed off at myself and I want to get drunk.